But Dude, seriously?

The real reason gangsters wear sunglasses

2010-07-13T02:06:00.001+01:00

It's been a while back when I watched Young and Dangerous 2, right after the first movie, and been putting off writing about it.

I really enjoyed it, even if (or because?) it is very different from the first one. In style, storytelling, its message... Things happen not just in Hong Kong, but we get to know a bit more of Taiwan and Macau as well. I really enjoyed how the style of the three places are really different. Not really a surprise - a local movie for local audience probably gives more justice to the cultural differences, then if this was made by Europeans or Americans.

Hong Kong gangsters - the "good guys". Even when they go to kill someone in Macau and get ambushed, they are portrayed the positive side, since mourn the loss of even one gang member, while the "savages" don't care how many have fallen in the battle. And our heroes were betrayed as well! Got to sympathize with them, though there's a lot more betrayal down the line.

Taiwanese gangsters - living in Taiwan now this is pretty scary. Scarily accurate, even now, 14 years and a number of election later. I mention elections, because the message is, politicians are just gangsters who "launder" they reputation, secure their position and get into the bigger game. And it is still like that, many places it is the local gang head who runs for the county/town seat. No surprise to have countless defamation, vote-buying and such things that came up in every election. So gangsters = politics. But this also means they are much more serious then our HK guys. One more cultural difference, guns are not welcome in Taiwan. Here the weapon of choice are knifes and other hand-combat tools. Not the first movie to show this, so I kinda believe it. (Except these days things might be changing, last month's gang execution in the southern part of the island was indeed carried out with guns).

Macau - they look very bureaucratic, but under the surface just very anarchic. Playground for gangs of other territories, but one can fall out of favor if the appearances are not kept....

Indeed, I'm not sure what makes these HK guys so sympathetic. The fact that they are not the best gangsters but they seem to survive? Not the sharpest tools in the shed but still pull some tricks in the right time. To keep some sense of honor, not that is yours or mine but nevertheless familiar and can connect to. And never ever betray one's friend or love.

And that's why gangsters wear sunglasses. They in fact have a big heart, and people betray them a lot. You need those glasses to hide your eyes - the windows into your tortured soul, your tears you shed when you have to kill the person you love, who wanted to destroy you, just so that her "family" won't have a chance to torture her because of her betrayal...

If it was you, you'd wear sunglasses too...

Make your move

2010-06-14T03:24:00.000+01:00

Got a new phone recently, of the smart(er) kind, and one thing people seem to be doing first is finding games for their new gadgets. I found some, as well, most of them have pretty short-lived life before being uninstalled. There's a pretty classic one, though that I like a lot, and did teach me a few things.

It's a quite simple Jewels clone - you know, when you have to move a single gem to have 3+ of the same type in the same line, they are removed, new gems added and repeat.

The game has three modes: Normal, Timed and Infinite.

The Infinite I didn't play, because there's not much fun going on and on without any objective. On the other hand, I'm thinking what other name I could find for the Normal, maybe "Lucky"? It goes on until there are no moves left. The tricky thing is that it doesn't really depend on you whether there are no moves left, only depends on the gems you are dealt. So even if I liked this in the beginning, to me the scores of this mode are meaningless.

I enjoyed the Timed mode the most, because it really just depends on skills. How fast can you find the right move? Do you want to pump up the scores to have higher score multiplier but less time to make moves, or keep playing longer on a lower multiplier. And its lesson is that a quick solution is much better than the optimal solution - when there are multiple moves, just make any of them. If it destroys some potential moves, there will be always newer (and usually even better) moves later. Yeah, I know, just rediscovered Woody Allen's "Eighty percent of success is showing up" (making a move). But it still feels good.

Now getting on with my other things and making moves.

Younger and more dangerous

2010-05-04T14:44:00.001+01:00

I love watching Hong Kong movies. There are at least 7 or 8 TV channels here dedicated to Hollywood movies, and only 3 that are playing ones from Hong Kong and China. Out of those 3, at any given time maximum one of them have both English and Chinese ssubtitles. But still, I'd give up those 7 or 8 channels before the other 3...

Yesterday I've been watching Young and Dangerous on recommendation and it was all that I like and expect from these movie.

Not sure why, but many of them just resonate with me so much, and I can be lost in time watching them. The usual hand-held cameras give good dynamics to scenes. Haver quite well balanced mixture of heavy (profound, gross or said) and light (witty, action or happy times). They have off-topic comments that have nothing to do with the plot but sounds much more like real life conversations. Okay, I cannot speak Cantonese (nor Mandarin, yet), but hearing them is much more fluent, more "real" than many of the dialogs in western movies. They are not afraid of things bordering (or even well into) taboo. In Y&D we have the whole family, the two little kids, just old enough to screem "don't hurt our papa" executed along the mum and the gangster boss dad. That's sad, and that's the way we (or me, the more or less law-abiding-citizen) imagine it would in real life. We need sad, because we need real. We have to be able to handle the gross that's in life, look it in the eye and say "cao ni ma..." (actually that's Mandarin, sorry).

In this movie, the protagonists are a group of gangsters (or rascals, according to the subtitles), who avange they killed boss. Yeah, when you watch, you support a bunch of criminals who kill just as lightly as you order a coffee... They do it and like it. And they are the positive side. Imagine what the other side looks like?
Yeah, they are the protagonists because they are cute. That's so simple. Becaue they are cute, adorable, silly, loyal, willing to suffer for the friendship they have. Might kill a few dozen people in the meantime but "i give my life for my brother". When everyone else is zero, that's all you need. Harry Potter glasses and puppy eyes. Okay, leather coats also make a different, when their "cool" side comes out too.

In the end you know them. You could be your friend too, wouldn't you? They are fun to be around (unless you steal their car, because then they will make you eat chinesse buns), and show how to enjoy a simple life. And maybe, just maybe, you'll wish your (real) friends would be this witty, charming and loyal....

To the Stark and beyond!

2010-05-02T18:21:00.001+01:00

"You know what the problem with Hollywood is?" asked Gabriel Shear once. "They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit." Well, not sure I can argue against it, bit some of this shit still can worth that price of a movie ticket. First, let's get it out of the way: Iron Man 2 is fun. It was made by professional entertainers, who know what do the masses want (circus + beautiful people). I don't think anybody will be surprised that it is not the pinnacle of screenwriting or acting or even the special effects. But that all don't matter. It's all besides the point.

The point is Robert Downey Jr. for many, maybe Scarlett Johansson for others, some bling, and boom, and soundtrack, and sunset, and lifestyle that people imagine the rich to lead - if they were anywhere near as gifted as Mr. Stark.

I enjoyed the "live before you die" attitude in the beginning. The one that is annoying to the onlookers but anybody would if could. The "what do you care what other people think?". Maybe Tony Stark is what Richard Feynman would have been, if he was inherited a huge company? It is liberating, and yeah, the gasping audience of Mr. Stark's antics looked just as ackward and out of place as it should be in real life. Well, I'm not saying that one shouldn't have friends that stop them before they self-distruct, but you very well have your own indistructable suit when you go in.

Anyways, isn't it that Rhodey has it harder than Tony Stark will ever have? He has morals. He has a sense of duty. He too is clever (though not into the darks arts of engineering). And while his friend has (almost) everything on a platinum-iridium plate, he has to obey stupid bosses and handle clueless subordinates... And his friend is a jerk.

Actingwise it is strange to see movies when there's such a big difference between the actors abilities (the Gran Torino was one marked example for me). Here it is less pronounced, but still there. You don't realize the imperfections of some of the performances before Samuel L. Jackson comes around and just... gives himself I guess? I really wanna like Scarlett, and I do, but it's just not the same league. Maybe she should have more of the Match Point kinda things, I adored that. On the subject of Scarlett - we can stay for ages, probably - but her hips, were they SFX or not? In this age when they can create anything and all on the screen I wasn't quite sure. I mean it's surreal! And the director treated her very liberally (probably knowing that RDj will take care of the female audience, she'll win over the rest) but those action sequences... After every knocked-out guard there's a pause, look into the camera, camer zoom in, slight breeze in hair, marvellous, move on. I mean, what? And that outfit was more from Kick-Ass (maybe really a scuba suit as well?), but that seems to be completely intentional to make it comicbook-like..

Dear Arch-Enemy, Mr. Hammer, he's an annoying little... person, but yeah, that's what he was expected to be. First time he came on the screen I though he was Gary Oldman (I wear glasses for a reason, you know), maybe from a younger age... And I think he would have been perfect for this. In some Mr Zorg style maybe (hm, he half-decent arms dealer as well). I think this guy was playing on that a lot. But he just looked damn too young to be such a prick... Or I should just know how these young billionaires really behave? Maybe it was all part of the show, that he picked up all of his bad behaviour and tough talk from movies like other normal (i.e. real, not fictional) people do? Could very well be...

In the end nobody should take any movie seriously that relies so much on time-lapeses ("and 2 movie minutes and plenty of lab-distruction later Tony Stark creates a new element that all but solves all of humanities problems"). That wasn't on my mind when I came out of the cinema. My mind was more occupied by "oh, my, it was 2 and a half hours, didn't notice, it was a good laugh, wasn't it?" Then carry on...

back to... normal?

2007-02-09T15:03:00.000Z

Being back in Oxford after this two weeks in Taiwan - feels like a strange dream. England itself doesn't help much to ease this feeling, yesterday's snow storm, today's really wet, and my prevailing jet leg which sends me to sleep at 8pm - it's all like a strange dream, from which I hope I can wake up soon, and go to eat some breakfast at our favorite place at the corner there in Sinjhuang...

Because being back here now, I feel the difference with full force, between the two places. Just keep thinking, what am I doing here?

In fact, I know what I'm doing here, and it has a really clear path, a really clear deadline, it's going to finish soon, and gives its place to a (hopefully) nicer and happier life over there. :) Just always, always that last part of the path is the hardest.

It's like when I can wait 5 months for my flight, but the last two weeks are unberable, everything feels so close and so far in the same time. It's the same. About 10 months, hopefully less, is left of my life here in Oxford. But all I can think of is speeding up the time - which is a bad idea. Bad, because the more time I waste now, the more time has to be worked as extra later. So I should just be a busy bee....

Still.... This time, I feel so different. This time I feel that nothing is impossible. This time when I was there everything really found its place... :)

Well, back to a little bit more lab work for today - at least it's not outside in the rain. ;)

on the road again

2007-01-18T06:42:00.000Z

:) So, how much is 55+72?
There are so cute ways to wake me up, to check how much chance is there to fall back to sleep and everything.. Mmmmm....

Anyway, now there's only a breakfast and a bus ride that stands between me and the airport. This 5.5 monts passed so quickly in the end... So many things happened, but still feels so short... I guess my brain tries to protect me with that. :)

Well, airport, as I said, hope it will all go well. First time stopping over in Hong Kong... Never seen it before, but I won't see it now either... That's alright, the next destination is fortunately just 1,5 hours jump from there. :) Let's go let's go.....

more thoughts

2007-01-09T21:50:00.000Z

As it gets closer, it starts to be more and more unbelievable :) And more and more things are to be taken care of. Not just about the trip, the whole future. Also, even if I haven't thought before, that anything will be easy, it's getting more complicated. But not in a bad way. In a special way, that I really can feel, we take care of our things, and not relying on anybody else. That we can get through the tricky things, even if we haven't been in this situation before...

And fortunately there are so many open questions, so many things up for luck to handle. And that's alright, so far luck was giving nice surprises... ;) One has to renew all the time to keep up...

to my Sweetheart :)

2007-01-07T14:49:00.001Z

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me.

See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
But remember when a dream appears
You belong to me.

feel home

2007-01-05T00:40:00.000Z

It takes a little time before I get used to any room I was living in. Because of course, I moved around a lot, that's the way a student can be... Since the beginning the university, moving in and out of the room, one is smaller, the other is more comfortable... That's the way it is. Sometimes I had roommates, sometimes on my own...
But never really thought about what makes a room fell my own. Those are little things. Comfort. Efficiency. Memories... I donno... But still, this room, of which I started to feel better about (even if there's no proper heating all winter), is just temporary. By next August I will live in another room somewhere - don't know where yet. And when I finish my degree - hopefully not too late - that again, another place hopefully. Another country even... ;)

And every time, building up from scratch where is my place.

I don't mind staying anywhere. I can easily find my comfort in almost any place with a few simple requirements, for a short time. But I'm really curious, how it will feel to "arrive" somewhere, which is really "mine". Not having a set time when I have to move out, even if it's as distant as a year. Or not having someone else overlooking my shoulder, how do I keep the place in shape, but it will be my responsibility. When something goes wrong, I won't and won't be able to wait for anybody arrange the fixing of it, it has to be me... If a lightbulb goes out, I have to find a new one. If the bathroom suck, I can plan and make it better...

But, another thing... In the whole thing that I wrote here, I really wanted to write: "we"... :)

It's only two weeks and I'm on the way again.... ;)

a thought

2006-12-18T20:59:00.000Z

Time is really flying away... I can say this, even if it's s used up expression. Everybody feels that. But now, really, one hour after the next. And most of the time, when I think about it, that's a great thing. Realy. :) Because I'm always looking into the future forward. There's always an occasion to prepare. Like this time for January. Exactly one month from today... That will be great, and keeps me going even if things are hard. Because there's a part in the life where things are just as easy as they can be...

And still, sometimes 30 hours wouldn't be enough in a day, to get everything done. Well, better be busy than bored. Now get that to-do list and start working on it...

First thing probably should be giving up all the internet games. Actually, there's only one I'm playing now, and it doesn't take up much time, but probably that would be the way forward. And organizing myself. Hm.... I really need my Sweetheart now.....

leaves of autumn

2006-11-13T09:10:00.000Z

I really like this kind of mornings, when the sun is shining from sideways, and everything is so calm and nice... I even like the loads of leaves on the ground - it's autumn, almost winter anyway... Yeah, I think this is the nice, proper European weather... Well, one could argue with this, no question about that. I mean how much does Italy's and Norway's weather have in common, for example (I donno, never been to Norway, and would like to see Italy a bit more:) , but for me, a proper continental weather is like this...

And i can appreciate these kinds of beauty of the world only because there's happy inside me. :) If not, everything would annoy me, and it's totally not like that now. Mmmmmm.... Sweetness...

Okay, now maybe I should stop daydreaming, and get ready to meet my supervisor...

not that deep

2006-11-12T01:08:00.000Z

I don't know anything, just one thing....

warmth pack

2006-11-10T09:33:00.001Z

It's amazing how much warmth a smile and caring can bring... And now, as the Enlish winter starts to gain strength, I need every little piece of warmth I can get... :) Thank you!

surprising clarity

2006-11-09T09:53:00.000Z

For a long time now, there wasn't a morning so clear as it was today... Not a single cloud, just sunshine... And curious enough, I can hardly recognise Oxford now without the fog... The people, the buildings look so different now... And it's freezing cold. But that's alright, Christmas is coming, and it would feel really strange not to have very cold Christmas time... :)

Anyway... I'm always just looking forward to the time of finishing work... Too bad that I have just started now... :) Never mind, I have my usual little list, where I write what to do, and later tick them off one after the other... If things are going well.

But - even if it's no new news - I wish I'd be somewhere else. About "10.000 km else"... Just some more days, just a few... ;)

taste - music

2006-11-08T10:34:00.000Z

I listen to quite a lot of music these days, and I realized, why is it that I find it not at all appealing to listen to some Hungarian music. Yeah, the lyrics are so artificial and forced sometimes, that it feels totally bad... Well, the english lyrics - I have hard times sometimes to decode them for myself, have to read some websites usually to figure out what is going on, but not every time. There are some singers who are really great in delivering so natural sounds, that one has to catch his breath... Like Frou Frou, for example... Have to be in the mood to listen to them, but it worth it, out of this world...

On the other hand, I really like listening to Chinese popular music too. :) It's so different, not just because there's no way I can understand the language anytime soon, but because the pronouciation techniques, the way of speaking, the usage of tones is so different... So, listening to Jolin or Jay Chou is so interesting usually...

Anyway... Today I left home my iPod, when I came to work. That makes time go quite a bit slower... But there's still plenty to do, there always is... :))

wintery

2006-11-07T10:00:00.000Z

Back in England, after a little time-out in Hungary - well, this is the least favorite time of the year for me... The slimy winter here is totally aweful, and one can just hope for the spring to come... And the winter time, as the daylight saving is over, just adds to the things...

Anyway... There are many good things as well, but the biggest is a good night sleep. :) Well, there's about 14 hours left until the next one, so plenty to do in the meantime. That's alright...

Still, the best part is the countdown... 74. :)

catalyst

2006-10-24T23:40:00.000+01:00

Sometimes it feels, just going around and around, the same things, just maybe on different levels. People tend to commit the same mistakes, maybe cleverer every time than before, but it's still just around. It needs some push do improve the personality. That push can be anything, but the Girl is a very efficient catalyst for this...

Anyway, I really feel, there will be plenty of opportunity now to make changes, these times are full of new experiences - good and bad, all kinds - that do a lot to me. But that's good. I like experience.

... And maybe at this time of the day, I don't know too well, what am I saying atually. :)

hungry boy

2006-10-24T09:49:00.000+01:00

How is it, that I'm always thinking about eating? Am I such a hungry boy? Really?
I don't know, but one thing is for sure, the first time in my life when I was really well fed all the time, was back home when my mum was still cooking for me, and the second time was when I went to Taiwan... :)

Now, England, that's a different thing. Especially being student, and not a well-off working person, eating in college is not the dream of anybody, I'm sure... Hmm....

I'm glad I can still remember those happy tastes. :)

morning

2006-10-23T11:43:00.000+01:00

So far, when I was in Oxford, I really didn't like winters, they are so wet and slimy, and not plesant at all here... But it seems the autumn still can surprise me. This morning was totally like the best mornings back home, the way I remembered them... Walking on the street, feeling the air, the lights, everything, that was so amazing....

And I just really wanted to share it with someone. Too bad that I can only send her a message now, even if I'd like to just pick her up, and say "Hey, Sweety, we are going out, is that okay? ;)"

Yeah, this morning I missed home a little bit. But I don't think I will see many autumn mornings back there in the near future. And fortunately there are so many things to miss and like over here too... And in Taiwan, of course. :)

customs

2006-10-04T01:04:00.000+01:00

I wonder, how did the cavemen wash their teeth? Or they just didn't? And when did it become so naturally expected thing?

Nonono, I'm not complaining at all, I really like washing teeth, and all that, but sometimes one starts to think about things that we take so natural, while they haven't been like that for a long time...

Anyway.... It's evening and DID wash my teeth. ;) It also helps to have a comfortable night...

treat

2006-09-24T23:21:00.000+01:00

Paul, the porter-mate, he and his ideas, oh...
Icecream+chocolate milkshake, oh yeah... Now I feel really groovy in the inside... But it was an interesting experience, no doubt about it. :)

My god, never trust a man with a huge size of a belly like his, again, with food... :/

depend

2006-09-24T01:17:00.000+01:00

How strange it is, how different people find different activities more interesting than others. And the preferences are totally different for everyone - the way I might not even understand why the next guy is interested in those things that he is, and vice versa....

That's why it's great when I can share the interests with someone. To a totally unprecedented extent... :)

But there are still things that surprise me - for example how much we depend on technology nowadays... Not simple, not at all simple thing... Well, that's alright, problems are there to be solved, and if one thing I have learned, than it's to have a Plan B all the time. If something fails, there can be an alternative. But I just hope, things will continue to work as well as they did before... And if the "things" are good, the communication is much easier too.

things

2006-09-22T10:51:00.000+01:00

It's always nice to wear my precious TinTin t-shirt... :) Not just because I got it from my Girl, and it's really comfortable, but also because every time that I'm wearing it, people really seem to notice it - every such day I get 2-3 people come to me and say: wow, that's a great t-shirt, reminds me of my childhood, I'm also a big TinTin fan...

Well, I'm just glad that I'm not that desperate to gain attention that I wear it every day... :P

Otherwise, I'm starting to feel a little bit old - maybe I shouldn't have but it's just like that... Why? Because now I cannot stay up too late to read an exciting book, but fall asleep much earlier... When I was reading Harry Potter 5, it was proper all-nighter, and now, Umberto Eco finished just after 20 pages in the evening - though it might not be a good idea to read while lying in the bed... :) That can cause problems and yawns.... ;)

2006-09-21T13:51:00.000+01:00

There are always crucial times. On a big scale and on small scale too. The things that are happening back in Hungary, those came from crossing a line, and getting onto uncharted territory. What's gonna happen? Nobody know yet. And me too, got myself onto uncharted territory, and don't know what's gonna happen, just hoping for the best...

Reforms, changes, those are needed, many of them. Because the way things are at the moment, cannot go on.

Anyway, probably I should really revive this blog to tell about actual things, and not just philosophy. Just first I have to get some actual things to happen to me.... We'll see...

moved

2006-09-19T09:26:00.000+01:00

Moving to a new house is a big thing, probably because I haven't moved to many new houses before. And this is the first one I found myself and arranged, and rented, and everything... Well, maybe that's why it's not at all perfect. But it will do, this year I'll be busy anyway, to get all the things done what have to be done....

And after that, hopefully my blog post will start:
"Moving to a new contintent is a big thing..." ^__^

Hm, now, I just have to make that house work a little bit better....

look out for the time coming

2006-09-14T09:19:00.000+01:00

When you don't look at the clock or calendar, time flies past so quickly... I haven't even noticed, and three weeks already passed. Well, there's only like 55 of them left, 55 when it will hopefully be usefully busy weekdays, and sweetly talkative weekends. Some vacation in the meantime, maybe a few good movies to keep me sain. Some packages and cards....
And lots of lots of thoughts... :)

I love the way people ask me, "and what will you do after finishing your PhD?" and I can really answer them now ^___^

alright

2006-09-08T17:07:00.000+01:00

If I'll ever remember these days, you know, as someone sits down years later and thinks about the times when he/she was a student, I wonder if i'll remember this being busy, or just my mind will change it to "how happy and easy it was!!" :)

It's happy, that's for sure, I don't know how easy (some days more than others), but anyway...

It seems the serious things I wanna say or note down, they've already been said and there's nothing left just feelings.... And it's hard to talk about those. Maybe putting some pictures here would help. Or finding something important to write a longer note here. Whatever, that's alright. :)

One day comes after the other...

found

2006-09-01T00:02:00.000+01:00

The best thing is when you expect the worse, and than you relaize that things turned out even better than your best hopes were... :) That's when you know, things are going the right way....

small thought

2006-08-31T07:24:00.000+01:00

This week is a real punch of the real life... I have no idea at the moment, how scientist working 10-12 hours a day, can keep proper relations with the outside world, but my supervisors are the living examples - they do. And so far I got really lucky too - finding the right Lady helps a lot... :) Yeah... we'll see, and survive everything.

But it's definitely better to be a professor, when you manage your own time a bit more freely, and better to be in the same time zone with the one that matters... Hm, I don't have to be a Feynman to know this. :)

to prepare

2006-08-30T08:58:00.000+01:00

Long way ahead, please mind your steps...

(I love her photos :)

the longest day in the lab

2006-08-28T23:37:00.000+01:00

Oh, save me, save me....

There are so many "catch 22s" in life, when if you do something, it's not good, but the opposite is not better either...

Yeah, the nice and easy life is somewhere there in the future, probably, but where? Fortunately I know that it's not fun to wish to be retired, while I'm still in the middle of the twenties... Okey, just getting through it. Somehow. A lot of sleep helps, and maybe a counting down... At the moment there's some 398 or so, left...

Shorter and shorter, my Darling. :)

close my eyes...

2006-08-27T23:33:00.000+01:00

I love setting my alamr clock to a too early time... Even if that means that I usually oversleep a little bit... But it also means, that in the morning I will have loads of crazy dreams in the half-asleep state of mind... And most of the time it's really exciting, really nice and adventureous. Sometimes, like today, it's a bit of "bad trip", but that's worth it.

And in those dream-away moments I can be wherever I want. And in those moments everything nice comes back... those which are just one week old memories, and those for which i have to check the photos over and over again...

Might sounds corny, but never felt this lucky before ^___^

finally

2006-08-27T11:12:00.000+01:00

Once I read, that it's the best to be pessimistic: than either you are right or be positively disappointed. I don't know about that. Most of the time I'm really high on optimism, and keeping that up is a big work sometimes. So many things going on all the time. But now it's totgally different. Now it's totally like growing up. Even when I was at university, not living home, becoming more independent and everything - but not on this scale like now... Not at all this scale. This vacation time changed me a bit, I think. Being responsible, organising, taking care of... and living together with someone special 24-7... yeah there wasn't anything like that before. And to know that I (we) can handle this, is a great thing, gives enough fuel for this next complicated year... :)

Yeah, nothing makes you do your best as trying to prove myself to my Lady ^___^

movie

2006-08-25T00:42:00.000+01:00

I really love watching movies, because I believe that one can learn a lot of things from them... What was the storytelling and personal experience many decades and centuries ago, that teaching is now done a little bit by the movies. They teach us how to handle people, what are the appropriate ways of behaving, what things are accepted and what are not tolerated in society. And also, about hw many strange and interesting things can go on out there... (Even if it must be true that "truth is stranger than fiction" :)

But I watch movies a little bit different way since I realized, that in many aspects, my life lately - is totally a movie. Or more like: our life. ;) So many exciting things, so many events that no other people would believe easily... Something truly special... :)

And fortunately in this movie there are no commercials. It will make great stories to tell. :))

annual

2006-08-23T23:59:00.000+01:00

So quick is one year, one normally don't really realizes it...
And now, I'm already waiting for the next one, preparing... Because the most important things in life really deserve the most attention... :)

Thank you, Baby... :))

clever

2006-08-22T23:34:00.000+01:00

I'd love to have some more clever thoughts than I have now...
Maybe about some books, or about life or the things around us...
But the more one tries this kinds of thing, being clever, the less succes is there...

So now I just let it going. It is like a dream. Maybe because it worth paying more attention to dreams. Like on those mornings, when I wake up and just don't know where I am... I wonder about tomorrow morning... :)

pearls

2006-08-20T01:03:00.000+01:00

Time and time again...
It's amazing how fast good things pass by...
But hopefully there will be always new ones... ;)

looking forward

2006-08-05T23:37:00.000+01:00

...one more day... :)

note

2006-08-05T00:59:00.000+01:00

In the end everything is just as perfect, as it was ever imagined...

pull together

2006-08-04T08:56:00.000+01:00

I know what i should do. Can I be a strong enough guy to do it?
We'll see, when the racing thoughts slow down in my head, everything always looks much nicer.
Okay, let's try it... ^__^

manual

2006-08-02T23:57:00.000+01:00

It's so great when you prepare something with your own hands...
Whatever it might be. A gift. A hobby piece. Cooking. A gadget for the lab... Anything. Even if it's not commertial-perfect, that's what makes it unique....

And I love it so much, what kind of things I start doing because of Her. ^___^
Guardian Angel, 100%

small move

2006-08-01T00:50:00.000+01:00

I think I quite like moving houses...
Not the process itself, I'm way to skinny to enjoy the moving things across the city (or even on smaller distances like today), but the beginning and the end. The new start, the getting rid of so many trash and accumulated "souvenirs" like used bus tickets and notes that doesn't make sense anymore, and plastic bags, and everything like that...

So cleaning up, sorting things, reliving the past a little bit, smiling when I find something cute that for examle I got from my Baby years and years ago.... Those are the fun parts. If it would be up for this, I'd move every year... Oh, wait, basically I moved every year in the last 7 years, that should mean, that I should be more professional, isn't it? .... I don't think I am. :)

Never mind...
Hm, now I just want to go and watch Before Sunrise/Before Sunset again.... Maybe later... :)

arranged

2006-07-31T02:04:00.000+01:00

You know, some people need movies to know how can it feel, to have a once in a lifetime opportunity. Some other people knows that feeling better than any movie or story or someone else can tell...

Knows it better, and marvels on the miracle of life, hardly be able to believe it, because so few other people had it.

Once in a lifetime. How fragile things are, how well adjusted every moment has to be to end up to be the person you are now... Just blows my mind....
Ever climbed a mountain, or went through a bridge, or crossed a dangerous place, while not really realizing how much effort it took to actually do it? And than looking back, that's when you got scared, like "I've really walked across that tree above the river"?? But it's already over. Still, just starting to appreciate the delicate arrangement of life, that brought you here....

And now, it just sends the shivers down my spine, to know, that probably the major part of my life depended on simple clicks on the computer in an afternoon many-many years ago.... :)
Well, I'm glad I don't need a movie to appreciate this incredible luck. ^_____^

keep track

2006-07-28T09:55:00.000+01:00

This is the usual way how things work... The more I have to say, the less I can find time and energy to sit down and write it out. But that's bad... I haven't even had time to get the story of the last Taiwan trip - fortunately there are plenty of photos to remember that week - one week, but it felt like an entire season of fun. ^___^
And also, just being back from Innsbruck, there would be so much to tell too. Or to record, more likely, because these pages are not really read by a big audience - and that's perfect that way. :)

So, being back, now I'm just going all different directions in the same time, organizing, claculating, reading, talking, studying.... My god, I don't even know how I keep track of everything. Or do I keep track properly? :))

Anyway... 10 more days, until a different exciting story is going to start, so I better prepare for that well... :) yippy....

*

One thing about England - coming back from anouther country, all the differences are so vivid - even compared to Austria, the food, the cleanliness of the streets, things like that... Very strange.... I don't know if I could live here for a long (or much longer than now) time. But maybe also because I'd miss Taiwan a lot... ;)

well

2006-07-25T03:39:00.000+01:00

i'm a machine...

small

2006-07-18T22:21:00.000+01:00

It's amazing how much different even a little bit of support can give. When you know that someone is thinking of you. That if you do well, that someone will celebrate together with you. If you do badly, that someone will cheer you up, and make it easier.... :)

Great, great things...

Now, I'm a little bit too sleepy to write something comprehensively ^__^ Maybe later, I hope... And I hope this conference here in Innsbruck won't go on for too long time now, it's getting to be a little too much... :)

expectations

2006-07-17T09:41:00.000+01:00

Of course, it's all about "with who" are you somewhere, not really "where are you" that matters... And that matters a lot. Soon two weeks effective separation is a a difficult thing, but can be survived. And survived really well, especially with a prospect of a really great middle of August, if all go well... :)
Because in this business of distace, one relly has to look at the bright side of everything. The smallest happy thing what you can find, like a gold nugget, can compensate for all months of missing and aching....

But it's really amazing, how time flies... Last year this time I was about to go to Taiwan for the first time, and just looking at what happened in this year - so many great things and it still feels like jus a couple of weeks or days... :D I hope that flies away that quickly too... I want to have my thesis, printed, in one hand, and my next proper plane ticket (and not return one:) in the other...

We'll see ;)

uphill

2006-07-15T23:16:00.000+01:00

If I survived today, I think I would survive every normal (I mean not climbing) tours at any place... Maybe that's not true, but after hiking up to a 2300m high peak, and returning (!) on feels quite a bit stronger - even if withour reality... :)

Otherwise during the walk there was plenty of time for me to reflect on things, and it was really strange. Thinking about people, the way I react to them - mostly because in the group there were some quite arrogant characters, but also some people, of whom I haven't had a positive first impression, but in the end it was totally positive... Maybe one just have to go through something like this to know the person a little bit better. Too bad that the arogant ones I have known too well already, so it just got worse... Never mind, on the path you can always go more in front or more in the behind, avoiding the strange things... ^__^

But I'm not kidding myself, maybe I'm pretty cocky to say things like these, too... Hm....

Anyway, it was a nice day, and I'm still in one piece ^_^

slow

2006-07-12T09:02:00.000+01:00

Yeah, two weeks at a conference. One should learn so much... But than there's no time to talk to people, to do some networking, which is always useful later... So, what's the right balance of the "wasting of time" by chatting, and the "useful" reading of presentations, solving of problems....

At this moment I don't really mind, I'm just determined, never to drink pineapple juice ever again... It's bad-bad thing for me... :)

In the afternoon we gonna go up in the mountains a little bit (there are some of those here in Innsbruck) for a hike, I hope the promised thunderstorm won't arrive here...

"adventure"

2006-07-10T22:01:00.000+01:00

What do people do, to access the internet...
Sitting outside a closed university building at night to use the wireless network, to be able to send important letters and many many pictures...
Yeah, maybe it's addiction, but than it's the greatest one...

Now I have to finish my post... The battery is too low in my laptop... :)

on the way

2006-07-09T18:15:00.000+01:00

Being on the road is good, but the best is with good companion... I hope I can see many places with her, because her opinion means so much.... So many things to explore - and still, the most things to explore re within us, I really had to realize that...
I want to go to a trip with You, Honey, to the inside of our souls.... :)

sporty

2006-07-09T00:36:00.000+01:00

These days I really like tennis... Not just because of the game, and because I have played many-many years ago in elementary school, but because it's attitude and philosophy... There's a single feature which I find really great, even if everybody else would think I'm just crazy:
that you have to win every game and every set with at least two points more than you opponent...

Why is it so great? Because this way your winning or losing is much more about your abilities than about luck. If it's a draw at any point, one ore the other player cannot just get away with "one time luck", but has to prove, that he/she is better than the other, by winning at least twice more. This lack of luck-factor makes all the difference - in my eyes, at least. The play's winner is always the one which was better, and not the one who was luckier...

This is totally different, for example in football. There's one lucky goal for you, and you are already almost certainly winner... Well, the football has other parts to really appeal, no question about it. Fortunately tennis and the footy are totally different... :)

early

2006-07-08T05:20:00.000+01:00

I love this kind of dorm feeling. I have to get up at 4am to find a washing machine which is not in use. That really makes a funny spin on this weekend morning.
Well, the clothes have about 25 hours to dry - and as I see them, they are lazier than that. No surprise, they would dry quicker in Taiwan, England is not realy famous for it's heat waves...

Anyway, get back to sleep, the are a couple of more hours to steal... And hev to be fit for the Wimbledon game... :)

"Why is the rum always gone?"

2006-07-06T23:46:00.000+01:00

I really wonder how it would feel living in such a world, as you can see in some movies. The fantasy coming true, the heros are true heros, everybody chasing treasure, and no matter how many men your army loses, you still fight that battle...

Well, maybe this is all in the attitude? Maybe everything what they do in the fantasy movies and stories, one can do in his/her own life, just has to realize it. Different ways, but there's always a lot of adventure and there's certainly real Treasure to chase.

And when you find that Treasure, you should never let go. ;)

*

Hey-ho, go Captain Jack Sparrow....

glue to the seat

2006-07-05T22:06:00.000+01:00

Football, tennis, F1, basketball, baseball, sailing, cycling... all other kinds of other sports... These are the things that always make people pay attention. Sport are always interesting programs on tv. Okay, sometimes more interesting than some other times, it all depends how much style the players have. Because you have to have the outstanding players to have it exciting. Players with personality and charm...

Why is everybody interested in sports so much? Is it like we all want to be so fit and skillful just it takes a lot of time and effort, so we watch it instead? :)
Maybe... maybe not...
Nevertheless I'd love to learn to do more sports, there are so many fun ones... :)

dream

2006-07-05T00:48:00.000+01:00

It's still like a dream... This last week...
So close yet so far...
I want to spin the wheel of time back just a little bit....

Okay, okay, should do the spinning back, just going forward, for example to the middle of August... ;)

notes

2006-07-04T01:05:00.000+01:00

I know what I should do now... To not forget it, should write down this last week... :) It's too incredible to let it go away.

I'm just still hardly can believe that there can be so many things happening in an only week... So many things that I miss now really badly...
Well, at least I know really well, what am I working for, what do I want to achieve... ;)

So... gathering the thoughts, and than storywriting.

simple/special

2006-07-02T23:24:00.000+01:00

Yeah, sometimes I overcomplicate things. And there are much more details I should take care of in my personality.

But it's never too late to learn. Never too late to start to appreciate the simple but special things. The everydays. The miracles of waking up next to someone, every morning, who you treasure above everything... The value of just taking a walk, or sleeping on each other's shoulder on the bus. Things like this.
Or learning to skate together. :) Yeah, nothing can replace this feeling.

There are obsticles still. And quite a lot of time until the next big step can be mode. But it feels better than ever.
Yeah, last week was the best time of my life so far. :)
And something to really give motivation... ;)

now....

2006-06-25T17:27:00.000+01:00

I never had such a fun date before, than this Saturday...
Actually, Saturday was a "never had anything like this before" day ^__^ No KTV, or teaching ice skating, or... oh, too many thing... :)

I'm the luckiest little hamster, that's how I feel :DD

ahoy

2006-06-22T16:14:00.000+01:00

On the way again. :)
Happy times ahead, let's go to find the Rainbow... ;)

reward

2006-06-22T07:49:00.000+01:00

As the Guinness commertial says too, good things come to those who wait...

And I'm just the most glad, that it arrived just on time, and to the very person, who really deserves it... :D
Hihi... ^_^

as one

2006-06-20T00:35:00.000+01:00

You know, one doesn't have to do a psychology course to get close to the mysteries of the human soul... One just have to find his Ms. Right, who gets so close to him, that basically there's no barrier between. :) Than, with every moment you live the total involvement, the total opennes of sharing... And it's an amazing feeling. :)

And now, as the night is getting older, I just want to dop on my bed, and fall asleep smiling, looking at the ceiling but seeing something else 10.000km away.... ^_^
Maybe that would be a good idea, before I start talking bullshit... Or is it not too late for that? ;)

eat together

2006-06-19T00:20:00.000+01:00

I think people should cook more often...
Never underestimate the imortance of having a dinner together with friends. In front of the tv, watching a show, or just chilling out and talking... So many things can one learn and experience from these occasion.

And never underestimate the importance and beauty of having breakfast together with your Sweetheart. :)

It is all alright...

just a suggestion

2006-06-17T03:09:00.000+01:00

How do you want to use the new day? :)

If you listen to me, than you'll cherish it, and help your Treasure to enjoy her day... ;)

flowing

2006-06-15T23:50:00.000+01:00

When everything is just so natural... When even the previously hard things go so smoothly like a dream. When dreams are sliding into reality to come true very soon... When you just cannot help the smile and warm voice when you talking to someone...

These are all very good signs.... :)

And also, one thing to note: not worth fightin with the flow, but have to realize it's direction and going with it. This is not to take the easy way out, in many cases there are no easy ways at all. But knowing the directions of things, feeling what's right, is really invaluable skill/gift/luck....

Well, right now I could write a lot, but all of it would be like a really romantic american movie :D When you feel like overflowing with feelings, just let it, and it doesn't even have to be put in words...

*

Once I thought I can do *everything* in the world. The time that I have will allow me to try everything I ever wanted. Now - maybe it's strange a bit - I feel the limitations. And it's good in a way, gives me enough motivation to choose just the very best things, and not waste life on secondary objects. That all the plans and dreams that I have, I can be sure that they are the most important things that I could come up with. And really, these days I have very-very good dreams and plans.
Actually, the best thing is that I have so much help to make these plans ... ;)
RRRrrrrrrrrr...... ^___^

midnight

2006-06-14T00:38:00.000+01:00

Not afraid of the dark...
Not afraid of the dark... >.<

Supernatural.... :)

clean and tidy

2006-06-12T22:47:00.000+01:00

It makes me somewhat uncomfortable, how the cleaning lady organizes my things all the time... I like to leave my bed as a mess, but every afternoon when i got back to my room, it's done nicely... Hmm... And some of clothes are just folded and placed on the top...
Why is it bad? This should be a good thing, so many people pay for a housekeeper. But I didn't ask for this!!
She's an older lady, maybe she's bored otherwise? :)
But it's better not to mess with her...

always chance

2006-06-12T22:20:00.000+01:00

Whenever I stpped blaiming anybody else, and looked at myself, always good things came to me. E.g. now, stopped for a moment, and not thinking about faults and guilts, but laying down all defences and opening up as much as I could, ever... Even if it doesn't start to work out yet, this is a much better approach than anything...

Everybody has different approach to life. Of course, I don't say anything new with this. Different ways of looking at the things that are happening. But these ways change as people change, with experience, because of other people, etc... And you can get along with any approach, but it does matter how do you get along. Whether you have to fight all the time - fight with yourself, when you are setting your own limitations. Or when just being to easy, missing the chances offered by Life... I don't want to be any of these. And nobody should be. I don't believe in fences between people.

I wanna be a better person. And right know I don't know whether I'm getting closer to that, or not....

random

2006-06-12T00:51:00.000+01:00

Come, bring the first aid really quick....

candle light and breeze

2006-06-06T00:28:00.000+01:00

Sooooo many books and stories and movies are about the mysterious, the ghostly, the strange... Just have to get the things written by Edgar Allan Poe or H.P. Lovecraft, and be scared out of your skin... Or, just turn on the tv, and watch Supernatural. ;) Of course, most of it is not that deep fear as the things written in the end of the 19th, beginning of the 20th Century, when seems to been quite twisted, but it's pretty good. Gets you thinking. Gets you doublecheck the locks on the door and possible haunted objects...
But these are just stories... :) Fortunately.
And Hollywood seems to have really good stories these day, less in the movies, more in the tv series. Somuch entertainment and quality... Of course, it's always better to wtch together with ^_^ Not just the scary parts. ;)

sleepyhead

2006-06-05T00:25:00.000+01:00

If you argue about a point, for example about a book or a movie, when it doesn't get to far, because than at that point you will understand the whole meaning too... At least that's what happened to me today. It's great, because I haven't seen a movie in a long while, which would simulated such discussion, like Memento today. Maybe it was also the people, you have to get a crazy Bulgarian, a precise German, and a stubborn Swiss together with me to get something meaningful out... :)

But now, all I really want is a place on the comtable with my Sweetheart... well, I have to wait a little bit for that... But not for long, if it's up to me... ^_^

nose

2006-05-31T23:46:00.000+01:00

Slowly but surely...
Hopefully after a sleep.
But don't take my tissues away... :)

everywhere

2006-05-30T23:54:00.000+01:00

I caught a cold, just a little one, but it's so lucky, that there are tissues here and there in the room, whenever I need it. I mean there are clean ones too... ;)

*

England 3 - 1 Hungary in a friendly football game... Well, there was just like 5 minutes that were really exciting, the rest is just tossing the ball here and there. Probably the World Cup will be more interesting, because there will be plenty on stake, not like here...

*

Sometimes I think, if I wouldn't be a physicist, maybe I would pursue some research in modern history (aren't these two words actually contradicting each other?). There are so many interesting events, so many things to solve, to understand... Well, not for me, my nice little quantum optics, atomic physics and statistics books are waiting for me. There are plenty to understand in those... ;)

And if we are talking about understanding - figuring out the way people work is a job for a lifetime. :) Even if in some occasions one can get a quite good insight into the innermost workings. I love those. ^__^

loop

2006-05-30T00:16:00.000+01:00

For one thing I'm really grateful to my parents, they really thought me how to think about things freely. Maybe it wasn't intentional, maybe they just left me to do whatever I want, and I have seen the good example, I donno... All I know now, that it's a really good thing, I see so many strange people around here every day, who are just so closed or un-curious (hm, is there actually a word like that?) . Also, maybe being a scientist helps too, requires critical thinking. But if it's like that, what was first - the chicken or the egg? I'm a science student because I'm curious, or I'm curious because I study science?

Never mind, it's just a big loop.

And the best things are always when we take it easy. When let things work their way through, and just adjust them in the right way in the right moment...
Well, actually that's definitely not a science, that's an art...

And maybe I shouldn't watch documentaries, they are informative but not good to the mentail health sometimes. When seeing how many stupid and cruel things people did throughout the history....
I'll try not to be one of them. :) Good plan...

whitening

2006-05-28T22:40:00.000+01:00

I donno why, but I was thinking today about all the teeth-business what everybody have to have. The brushing, and all the other ingenious ways of cleaning your teeth. The dentist-adventures, the changing them in many different ways...

And one thing: maybe it's silly, but I don't really believe, that fluoride would go into your teeth, because you brushing it against them in your toothpaste... I think the whole thing is a bluff...
But on the the other hand: what do I know? :)

your

2006-05-25T23:30:00.000+01:00

I would never exchange Your smile for anything else in the whole world. :)
...

logout

2006-05-25T00:39:00.000+01:00

...and the rain is just doesn't stop falling...
Kind of caught everyone by surprise, all the different shapes and sizes of umbrellas you can se everywhere...

Good thing: I closed all my games I was playing online. Just logged out, and not gonna go back. :) It feels great. Even if some of them was pretty entertaining, there's no place for them these days. Maybe some years later, if i'll still remember them... As I said, good thing.

decode

2006-05-23T00:16:00.000+01:00

It is great, how that £5.80 for the movie ticket suddenly worth it's true value, when after seeing a movie, you can discuss it. It feels so better experience, than when you see a film - and just have seen a film, by the time you are out of the cinema, the magic is over. The better case is, when the magic is kind of almost just starting, when the movie finished, and it will go on for a couple of days, even... Thinking over, what was in it, how to interpret things, point out good and bad parts, try to get the whole message what the director wanted to push through.

Even if it goes probably better with books. :)
But it all depends, who you can share the experience with ^_^

DaVinci Code... nice. ^_^ And certainly a thought provoking one, both on script and technical level.

steps

2006-05-19T00:46:00.000+01:00

It's nice to take a walk in an evening city, when everything is so quiet. European small cities are especially good for this.
On the other hand, i'd have given a lot to find an open 7-Eleven here. :) Or a food stand even in the night. Maybe that you can find only in Asia...

*

Oh, and I adore the dogs... The real ones, not the tiny decoration-dogs. They are so clever. ^___^

pages

2006-05-18T00:43:00.000+01:00

Maybe this is one of Nature's laws as well - the list of the books I'm planning to read is always just getting longer, never shorter. Even if effectively I spend my whole day with reading, the news sites and comic and scientific articles are not those kind of things I want to spend my entire life with. Don't get me wrong, they are great, but occasionally having a novel or a biography (hehe, maybe re-reading Richard Feynman's book, that would totally energize me up:) would be a great change. I love the feeling of being lost in the world of a book. And I know that to have that feeling I shouldn't wait until like next summer, when the last volume of Harry Potter will arrive - if I'm wothout proper read for a year, there's no telling how stupid I will get.... :) So, I have to get myself, bit more motivation to return to the usual attitude, and recreational reading, at least sometimes.... ^__^

But of course, that's not all. I wouldn't change human relations for books, ever. :) Like I wouldn't trade in an evening wathcing football together with friends. Or the most precious phone calls. :) They are unreplaceable...

Well, the future is all in our hands... :)

a one and a two...

2006-05-13T16:26:00.000+01:00

I don't know why I like to make lists. To-Do lists, those are. I have like a dozen all around my room at every single time. The latest is in front of me, and I'm just crossing out the things that I managed to deliver as expected. Those lists are always overly optimistic, and mostly designed for "30-hour" days, not for the regular 24, but still, I manage to do more this way, than just by going for it, without any planing.

Maybe they are my type, because I really like feeling the progress. Feeling how I managed to reach a higher level one day than on the previous one. Improving....
:)

Well, let's just write those lists, cross the items very nice, and become a more efficient and improved person ^___^
Am I expecting too much from these simple things? :/

Forest Story

2006-05-11T21:59:00.000+01:00

It's amazing how time flies, when things are going happy. :) Than everything is in it's place, everything works flawlessly, and if you want a week to pass like a blink of an eye, it does...

And you know what? Not just the Swiss and Belgians can make really nice chocolate, but the Japanese too. :) Just you have to have the right person, the right connection at the right place, to have a chance to try it. Hmmmm yummy.... And looks extremely cute too....

Now, crossing off one more day, and start to prepare for the new one ^___^

less and more

2006-05-11T00:09:00.000+01:00

And when everything starts to go well, than do things start to come by the dozen. :)

Or maybe it's like that: when you have a problem, you concentrate on that, and you don't see many other things. But as soon as that problem was, or is about to be solved, it frees up a lot of energy and attention, so you start to see all the other issues you might not have payed attention to. So, this way it feels great, that there's so many things to do, because that means, some of them has to be almost at their solution... :)

Now, with taking it a bit more easy, one can start planning... For example, which places to include in an All-around-Europe trip? :D Or is it too early to think about it? Naaaah... ;)

show

2006-05-08T22:43:00.000+01:00

It's incredible how many different flower scent can be in a small place, just in a small corner of the garden. And nut just their scent, their look is also so charming... Yeah, again, a good sign of spring. Or early summer now, I would say. :)

The moon is just marvelous up in the sky, and today it was really a great sunset too... Hm, the nature really puts on a good show. Or maybe just I payed more attention today, than usual?

Now, I think it's time to go, lay on the bed, with a little (very little) background music, and just clear things up in the head. Never wanna be that screwed like today... Ever again. :) Just cherish the treasure...

easy

2006-05-07T23:37:00.000+01:00

I start to recognise the directing style of George Clooney... At least it feels like that, seing a couple of his movies already. It's not too bad, only that generally the first half of the movies are much more interesting than the second half. Or I'm just getting bored in the end? Maybe not... :)

*

Hm, I really like the way the spring arrived here. Not constant sunshine, but some light rain too, and after them it's always such a nice fresh atmosphere everywhere... Anyway, I'm easy to be pleased by the weather. Usually it doesn't matter, what is it like, the only difference is who I'm in the weather with ^__^

place

2006-05-06T02:48:00.000+01:00

Now I'd like to read some books.
But I know, if I'd sit down to read, I'd end up doing something else soon.
So neither this, nor that will work....

Hm...
I could watch some cartoons, but they need a certain mood.

The best thing - go to sleep, and dream something interesting. That way the good and the useful can be found in the same place: entertainment & relaxation... :)

Tomorrow - I hope it will be at least as great as today. :) Than everything will be alright....

yellowish

2006-05-05T00:22:00.000+01:00

Today it really felt as if the summer would be here. Just looking out of my office window to the beautiful yellow sunshine, and walking there outside during the lunchbreak - wooow.... That was exactly what I was waiting for. So many people say it was too hot, or that they prefer the airconditioning, but I think they just don't know what they talk about... Come on. Sunshine. After the long winter and clouds. Appreciate it! :)

And this also brings some outdoor sports to reach. Everybody is playing football, or cricket, or frisbee... It all looks nice. I just wish I'd be a bit more fit... Not gonna happen anytime soon, though ^.^ unfortunately.... >.<

electronic

2006-05-03T23:50:00.000+01:00

It really feels, that the TV is all around us. I cannot even remember, when I was too little to watch it, or when it was that before going to sleep I wasn't hanging around on the internet for a while.
Although I remember my first email address, and how much I wanted to see the interactions grow stronger between my friends with the net being introduced to almost every household...

But the way it is going now - I never thought it's gonna be like this. And in a way it's great, while some parts of me really feel I'm getting old to keep up with the changes. I haven't even reinstalled my Windows for almost two years now :)

So, the new TV, the new network, the new technology seems to be in every little corner. Sometimes it feels like living a sci-fi book (or movie?). Actually, I don't mind. In the sci-fi books I usually found the human meaning, which is more important message than the technological predictions.
Exploring the life in the 3rd Millenia. ;)

Or maybe I just spend too much time thinking about things like this.... ^___^

round and round and round my head

2006-05-03T00:25:00.000+01:00

I really like the feeling after dinners, when it's the comfortably sleepy kind. Especally after good dinners. Everything feels to slow down, everything is a bit easier. That can be the time, when yhou turn on your Sade CD, or maybe Bridget Jones Soundtrack, and just let the worries go away...
Well, actually, the music and the worries thing you can do any time. ^__^

Your love is king, [...]
Touching the very part of me.

:)

*

On another note, now I really start to understand, why Converse shoes can be so expensive... I never had any other shoe which was so comfortable at felt so well done... Probably because it's really well done, and not just quicly put together for the simpletons, who are going just for price but not lasting things. Yeah, like me before. But this one, this is different. How long have I had it? A bit more than two week now. Yummy... I hope it will last really long.... ^___^

thoght-fragments

2006-05-01T21:35:00.000+01:00

Why am I nervous for simple things?
And why am I not, when something big is ahead?

Maybe the secret is that I'm plain... strange. :)

Sometimes I feel, if I'm more "see-through", I can see everyone else better too... Does it work that way?

Anyway. Luckily I think I know what's important, and this knowledge won't let me get wasted. :) Concentrate - concentrate, the goal is ahead. ^^

*

That's a strange silence, when the last song on the cd has just finished.
Or when you just turn off the tv, before going to bed.
Yeah, the second one, I like it. When you turn off the tv, and everything is suddenly so close. :)

calendar

2006-05-01T11:02:00.000+01:00

It's so great, how expectation comes. How we wait for the good things to happen, and how much we invest sometimes, to make that happen. Just have to be careful with this, I know if I'm looking too far, have to be careful not to lose the everyday prospective. Sometimes I really feel that it would be great to just fall asleep, and wake up when the day came, but in the next moment I much more prefer the day to day, second to second planning and carrying out, much more prefer when I cross out every day in the calendar individually... :) Lots of crossing out is left to do...

Oh, it's such a nice sunny day (I only wish it wouldn't be this cold:) and there's every reason to feel really good....

Well, especially when my thoughts are just lingering around in a certain part of the world.... ^.^

new feelings

2006-04-29T23:37:00.000+01:00

Somehow this Saturday felt like going on for ages and ages... And the coming of Sunday (just in 25 minutes or so...) is after centuries of expectation...

I donno...

But it definitely felt right from the beginning till the end. Every moment... ^.^

just one

2006-04-28T23:34:00.000+01:00

Time machine....
Is it too much to ask for??

april

2006-04-25T13:55:00.000+01:00

Like never before.
Just holding back the breath, and preparing to take the punches.
Making the plans, one after the other, to deal with every situation that can come. Because the situations will come, there's not question about it.

Breath in, breath out, and never give up, no matter how much it feels underwater. Will this be a winning strategy?
It has to be. There's no other way.

sssslllllooooowww

2006-03-27T13:25:00.000+01:00

There are always ups and down, when one's work going better or worse. These days are quite nice, no such discoveries in the lab, which would bring me the Nobel Prize, but going forward steadily... Interacting with the others, trying to read some articles and filling the gaps of the knowledge I have now, that works...
And having a lot of emotional support, that's also useful ^__^

*

Sometimes I wonder, why do people go though this notion of Summer and Winter time... I mean I know the reasons, why it was invented in the first place, but it's just so much trouble sometimes. This morning (second of the "summer" morning) I was just checking my clock, showing 8am, and just couldn't figure it out whether it is now really 7, 8 or 9??? Did I change it? What time it would be 2 days ago?? And just walking around the the room for 15 minutes until my head and the question have cleared up. :)
Well, on better days, this kind of mixing of dreams and reality is welcome. Today it was way to cloudy for that...
Fortunately, a healthy big breakfast helps a lot. :) Maybe reading some newspaper in the meantime (Economist) or such...

Anyway... It's like a different timezone. A couple of days and I'll be used to it. ^^

details

2006-03-21T21:49:00.000Z

There are not to many more exciting things in life, than getting to know another human being as good as you know yourself. ^___^ It's a true privilage....

rule of conduct

2006-03-21T09:47:00.000Z

...to be the strongest out there...
No matter, what others think or what are the odds, keep your faith in the things you cherish.
This is not at all a cry out for help, this is a testament.

drops

2006-03-20T21:39:00.000Z

I went around the college this evening, to find a shower, that was actually working. The ones in my building, well, they haven't really been working for a while. Cold water and tiny water pressure, that's not gonna get you anywhere... So I looked around. There's a building next to mine, I started there, because the last couple occasions I found the solution there... Not this time, though, I went to 3 different floors (the school-term is over, so the whole building is totally empty, all the students went home already) , but it seemed that they turned off the water in the whole building... Strange, it was just yesterday, when I used it (even if it was almost ubearably hot that time, the temperature-control has stuck)... So no luck, let's go one building further.
It's called the New Building, and it certainly feels like a spaceship. The lights come on automatically as I walk on the narrow corridor, which is packed with doors, all nicely numbered. Ground floor, still no luck. But on the first floor, well, I found my "dream shower"... It was sooooo amazing, thermostat, massage, great pressure, perfect temperature, yummy.... I wish I could bring it home with me....

And still, the best part was turning it off in the end, and feeling the silence of the empty building... I was just standing there and sucking in the peaceful atmosphere for like 15 minutes. At least. Hearing the drops of water, seeing the dim lighting... It is like a meditation. Like a little island. Really like spaceship far from everything, that little cabin....
That 15 minutes of silent thinking-and-not-doing-anything was at least as refreshing, as the hot water before...
Yeap, she's always on my mind...

feed your belly

2006-03-15T22:28:00.000Z

Even if small shops are more personal, I like to go to big supermarkets sometimes and browse through the selection they have. Nice food from all alrond the world... Even if not everything is that fresh and natural, as in the small places, sometimes the variety makes it up for that...
Yeah, today I bought a little bit too much food ^___^
Nevertheless, it's gonna be eaten really soon....

on ads

2006-03-14T22:36:00.000Z

It seems these days, the only really stylish commercials on tv are the ones connected to phones. Maybe it's like that only in England, but mobile companies (like Orange) and phone manufacturers (like Motorola) are producing the only ads, that can take my breath away.
Is that the whole point of a commercial, to take my breath away? Probably I'm still young and reckless, so I have to be impressed. To get to me, they have to rise my adrenalin level, open my eyes wide as a football pitch... Other age group is targeted a different way, surely. Somehow the calmness of insurance or mortgage ads cannot affect me - of course maybe mostly because that level of responsibility is still ahead of me...

Phone ads... "Hello Moto"... :)
They have to impress, since the technology what they try to sell based on impressing. Not that those phones know something what you need, but because they want to show you that what they know, you can learn to need. You can also learn, than slim and small and black and neon and colorful is stylish. And also, that the impressive world what they show you in the ads can be your world, as soon as you get their phones... :) Never mind, I won't get those phones (probably never going to get a cutting edge Moto), but I won't stop desiring them. And being lad, that I can separate the desire to have - and my actual wallet ^^

On the other hand, Orange impresses my the way the make funny commercials. A mobile company, that tries to show, how easy things are. Of course they are not easy, but it's better that they try to show us, that in their opinion it is. And can be for you. Take life as it is, always find the great moments, and fun is always just a thought away....

*

Or, maybe I'm just getting too high-tech ^___^